Pond life

I mind getting a taxi to the airport one morning to catch the red eye and the taxi driver, having found out I worked in a bank, explaining to me that Fred “The Shred” Goodwin caused the credit crunch. Now, Fred “The Shred” has been accused of many things and arguably not been accused of all he actually should be thanks to employment contract confidentiality clauses and the Edinburgh Brahmin class’s notion of what constitutes polite conversation, but he didn’t cause the credit crunch.

What did was/is straightforward – banks lent to people that couldn’t afford to repay their debts. They did this because they’d started paying people who’d invented a fancy dancy way of pretending people who couldn't repay their debt actually could repay their debt. Then they packaged up big wodges of this debt lent out to people who couldn't afford to repay it and started selling it to each other, only it was labelled "these people can repay their debt". To fund the lending to these people who couldn’t afford to repay their debt banks borrowed loads from awfy flighty financial institutions. When these institutions finally cottoned on to the fact the banks (and them) had kidded themselves and that these people really couldn't repay their debt, they all panicked like girly little bitches and pulled the plug on bank finances. Along the way some former building societies in the UK (and Ireland) had behaved like utter fucking mentals with their lending and given up even caring if big property investors could aford to repay their debt, so everyone panicked even more about them. All this forced government to step in and fill the gaps that suddenly emerged with taxpayer fivers. The end.

Now a patronising sod could bemoan the taxi-driving general public’s wilful ignorance of stuff and given the attention and money people chose to piss away on football and Katie Price they’d have a point. But, I reckon it more usefully highlights the us and them/winners and losers/just as fuckwitted as each other but in different ways divide now rapidly emerging.

The winner’s side recently reached its apogee when Bob Diamond the Barclay’s high heid yin told a parliamentary Treasury Select Committee earlier this month that “There was a period of remorse and apology for banks and I think that period needs to be over". What was even more interesting about this was the new fact that’s just emerged whereby Peter Mandelson appears to have set aside his view that Mr Diamond was the unacceptable face of capitalism so he could coach him for free on how to deal with them there pesky representatives of parliamentary democracy.

Obviously Mandelcunt has a lifestyle, sense of self-importance and dirty hard-on for smearing himself against the rich, the posh and the powerful he needs to be keeping up with and financing, but fair play to the man he once was a shrewd operator; but the period for apology needs to be over? Really?

Nah, fuck that shit. To sort out the financial crisis created by bankers councils the length and breadth of Britain are only NOW i.e. years after this all started in August 2007, planning to make people redundant, military hardware judged necessary for the protection of the nation is being scrapped, pay freezes and pay reductions are common place, vast swathes of teenagers are already being consigned to the employment scrap heap for life, universal benefits that constituted hard fought for political ideals are being ditched, taxes on all the stuff we buy are being raised and the only good time gravy yer average punter got was a sniff of debt financed house prices that are now falling down the swanny, and so on and so on.

So this period for apology and remorse should be declared over is it? Nah, fuck that shit. I mean seriously what kind of fucking head up their arse-piece bubble do those stupid, ignorant cunts live in? Fuck any rational debate and lets just stick to the facts - every time someone loses their job, free home help or a free school bus is proof that lot are just nasty, grubby, fiver grasping ignorant, arrogant cunts.

And saw a pic of Tommy Sheridan on the front of a paper the other day wearing a corsett with his dick hangin’ out. Whit a fanny.